so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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