hell yes lets make some ravioli
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Randomize
