who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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