Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
