You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
