wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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