I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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