I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
