saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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