it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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