I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
No subtext here. People are naked.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
