She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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