did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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