The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
