Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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