Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
