Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
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