I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
