she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
