Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
