I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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