Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
look no pants
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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