Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
