recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
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Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.