I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
I hate when you're right.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs