So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
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I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?