How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Did you just see the Batmobile???
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize