I heard we made out
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
