Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
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