if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
