I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
