I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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