you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize