Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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