lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Randomize
