just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
