dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
