Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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