Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
