I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
