Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
And the cops told us we were all naked.
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So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
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I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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