i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
We need a shit load of segways right now
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
