Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
