I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
