I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
