I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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