margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Just cropdusted the office
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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