I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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