hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
