I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
