Will you blow on my dice?
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
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he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
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You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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