dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
there is glitter all over my balls
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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