I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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