And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
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My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
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Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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