I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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