Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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