just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
