you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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