get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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