So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
tell me about the eggs
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