Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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