he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
